1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
