note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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