I'm really into asian looking animals
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
