I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
