he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
