He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
