Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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