his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
