Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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