Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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