I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
