He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
