I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
True strength comes from lack of pants
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
