Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
