He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
