Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
