i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
