I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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