dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
