Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
