You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
two words: eviction party
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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