The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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