I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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