Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I didn't notice because vodka
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
