i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
