i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
