I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
