I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
