Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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