What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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