one two three fourrrrnication!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize