i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Dick very happy bro
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
do nipples grow back?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
