We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize