C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
