i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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