I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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