Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
