Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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