he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
