Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
