we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
