We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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