K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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