Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
