when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
