so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
