I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
