I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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