If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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