Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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