I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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