Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
