So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
