Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
