Having a random hookup so left but love u
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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