She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
NoShamevember. You game?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize
