Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
