okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
