it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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