We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize