Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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