It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
