Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize