I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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