Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
