dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
